Pictured above at the opening ceremony’s red carpet, Britain’s official grandest of grand dames, Dame Joan Collins, nails it for the voracious gaggle of Cannes paparazzi in Hollywood white, with some rather splendid Cruella DeVille elbow length opera gloves in, you guessed it, combat-ready black. Dead perfect gear, because it makes you think.
Perhaps we could send Dame Joan, dressed exactly like this, dripping with exactly these long tons of ice in a necklace set, to negotiate with Putin about that big intra-Slav game he’s got going to restore the Romanov empire by inhaling Ukraine? It’s a gamble, is the point, but it seems likely that he just wouldn’t know what to do with the fearsome Dame Joan, who is every inch the calculating iron fist within the lace glove, so the proto-neo-Soviet-ex-KGB major might just give a little.
